Michael and Sarah Hanf’s adoption journey is a powerful testament to the importance of openness in adoption. Their path, like many who pursue adoption, was filled with both hope and heartbreak. When the Hanfs first reached out to LFCS, they were navigating the emotional ups and downs of trying to build their family.

“We continued to try to have kids, but after multiple miscarriages we found out we had infertility issues,” Sarah recalls. “We went through several medical procedures, and after five years we were able to have our oldest child, Morgan.” After experiencing the joy of parenthood, they hoped to have another child. However, doctors told them they had only a 3% chance of success if they attempted the same lengthy process. Knowing how painful and unlikely that process would be, Michael and Sarah chose adoption.

Their initial attempts to adopt, however, were marked by disappointment. They connected with another agency but found the experience frustrating and costly. “That was crushing,” Sarah shares. “We were very discouraged… we felt like we were just another number.” After similarly negative experiences with multiple other agencies, they reached out to LFCS in desperation. What they found was a team that truly cared.

“She was so kind and understanding after we had just been through a lot at that point,” Sarah says of the LFCS staff member who helped them. Michael adds, “There were several sessions where we had just us and our social worker answering questions and going over the process. They let us know what to expect and were honest about the uncertainty.” For the first time in their adoption journey, they felt seen and supported.

One of the most impactful aspects of LFCS’s approach was the focus on openness in adoption. “They had panels where we could hear from birth parents, adoptive parents, adoptees,” Sarah explains. “And that’s where we learned the most about openness.” Before this, the Hanfs only knew about closed adoptions, having seen them in their own family. “Both of my sisters were adopted,” Michael shares. “The one hesitation I had was how LFCS was encouraging open adoptions. Through the help of LFCS, we began to realize how special an open adoption can be.”

Michael, Sarah, Morgan, Olivia, & Brooklynn Hanf

The post National Adoption Month: The Hanfs and Open Adoption first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.

November is National Adoption Month, a time to celebrate the transformative power of adoption and raise awareness about the need for loving families for children. Courtesy of Lutheran Family and Children’s Services (LFCS), here are some of the most current adoption statistics, including some specific to Missouri.

National

• 114,000 children are eligible for adoption.
• More than 50,000 children are adopted from foster care each year
• About 100,000 children are adopted through all adoptions each year.
• Around 700,000 children are living with adoptive parents.

• 1 in 35 children in the United States is adopted.
• Approximately 95% of domestic infant adoptions are considered to be open or semi-open adoptions
• 50 percent of families with adopted children also have biological children.

Statewide

• There were 1,298 private adoptions in 2020 and 1,652 adoptions from foster care
• 2,677 Missouri children were waiting to be adopted in 2021.
• The most common ages for children waiting to be adopted in Missouri is between 1-4 years old

• 5 in 1,000 Missouri children entered foster care in 2021 (national average is 3.5 children per 1,000).
• 27 private adoptions in 2022 were conducted through LFCS.

Throughout National Adoption Month, LFCS encourages individuals to learn more about the adoption process and celebrate the journey of those who chose adoption. By offering a wide range of adoption services, including counseling, education, financial assistance, and support groups, LFCS strives to create a nurturing environment for all members of the adoption triad.

For anyone considering adoption, we encourage you to visit https://staging.lfcsmo.org/adoption-services. You can find comprehensive info about our adoption process, helpful resources for birth families and adoptive couples, as well as an overview of the couples currently seeking placement. If you have any questions or want to speak with one of our professional case managers, please call 866-326-LFCS (5327).

Source: The Annie E. Casey Foundation, National Council on Adoption, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, The Adoption Network and LFCS

The post Adoption By The Numbers first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.

We had to recalibrate our minds around this new journey. Our child would be local, there would be a birthparent involved, and we would be receiving an infant from the hospital, not a toddler from a far off orphanage. All of this was so much to process and taught us that often the adoption journey we think we will have does not turn out as pictured. But for us the reality was so much better.

After a few months of being in the waiting stage, and a few times of not being chosen for a match, we received a phone call that our book would be shown to a family who was local and had given birth to a little girl. The time between the notification that your being considered and the follow up to know if you have been chosen can be the longest part of the process. Although it typically only lasts a week, those days seem to drag on with nothing to think about except the baby.

We received our phone call on a Friday morning. She was ours. We had been chosen. I remember the phone call being a blur. We received the news within the first few sentences of conversation and my husband and I just kept staring at each other as our case worker on the other end of the line gave all kinds of important information that I was totally incapable of hearing and processing. We hung up the phone in shock and pure joy only to be jolted back to reality by the doorbell. Our nursery furniture, which we ordered just in case, was being delivered. Just in time.

We met our daughter on a Tuesday, after spending a precious few moments with her birth parents, and our lives changed forever. We became a family of three and without a second of hesitation, the full journey of our process was worth it.

The post Adopting Addie first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.

When my wife and I answered the adoption call on our lives, we enthusiastically jumped into our first training on the weekend of my 34th birthday.  We were blessed to have 2 beautiful, healthy children and they were excited to add a sibling to the gang!  As an elementary teacher and principal, my wife and I knew first-hand the need for loving families to adopt right here in our own community.  Arrogantly, I assumed we would be matched quickly due to our backgrounds, education and the gleam in our kid’s eyes anticipating their new little brother or sister.  However, patience and learning to wait on God’s timing was a lesson to proceed placement.

During our 5 year “commercial break” of the adoption process, our family experienced highs and lows that left us hurt and wanting to quit.  During the first 2 years without a placement, we experienced the hurt and disappointment facing many couples seeking adoption.  We were shocked and elated to find out Lori was expecting, only to find out months later that the pregnancy failed and we lost the baby.  While we had not experienced fertility issues, we had family and friends facing this hurt and challenge.  We felt the Lord was doing a work to help us love and support others going through this process in a deeper way.  Still committed to the adoption calling, we were even more surprised to find out Lori was expecting again a few months later.  The pregnancy was going well and we were eager to welcome another baby girl to our family when Lori was hit head-on by a lady talking on her cell phone.  After a scary night in the hospital and many faithful prayers, Lori was pronounced healthy and released from the hospital.  Two months later, we welcomed a full bundle of joy and life (Ava) to our family.  Even as our hearts sang over this new addition, we were still anchored to this call on our lives to adopt, but we couldn’t figure out why we were 3 years into the process and still had not received a placement.  When the new school year started, the Lord made an opportunity for 2 foster boys connected to my school to live with us. Even though this opportunity came through a different agency, our efforts in the adoption process helped secure placement for the boys with us.  Jumping from 2 kids to 5 kids over the course of a few months had many growing pains.  After 4 months, the boys were reunited with their mother, however, this left an even bigger hole for the missing piece to our family.  In addition to these major life events, we were also experiencing changes in caseworkers, being placed in a holding pattern for placements, and being rejected for reasons we couldn’t fully understand.  With 5 years of prayer, emotions, unanswered questions and money poured into the process, frustration and disappointment led Lori and I to ask for a meeting with our caseworkers to withdraw from the adoption process.  Against the desires of my broken heart, I yielded to Lori and agreed to wait the process out until August 1st.  After a few more rejections, we received a call from our caseworker informing us of a matching for a baby boy with a due date of July 31st.  (Insert every sermon, story, anecdote you have ever heard about God’s timing and waiting on His timing …here…).  With excited and guarded hearts, we moved forward with the matching and welcomed the birth of our son, Evan, on July 24th.  (In case you are curious, Evan means God is gracious.)

Today, the commercial break is over and we have rejoined our regularly scheduled programming.  We are enjoying the most beautiful, joy-filled blessing that could have ever completed our family. I don’t know where you are in your adoption journey, but our prayer is you will trust in God’s timing and be looking for how He is preparing you, this child, and the birth family during your commercial break.  For some, the commercial break may last so long you just want to turn the television off (or chuck it out the window).  Be patient.  Have faith.  Even though the commercial break lasted longer than we ever wanted or expected, it was definitely worth the wait!

Shane & Lori, Juhlin, Gavin, Ava and Evan (because adoption is a family affair!)

The post Worth the Wait first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.

After doing our homestudy we waited for about nine months and the call finally came that we had been picked by a birthmother and birth father. The baby was a boy and she was due in about a month. We couldn’t believe it we were so excited our dreams of becoming parents are finally coming true. We had a few meetings with the birth parents before the baby was born. There were so many emotions involved but overall the four of us hit it off and are now bonded for life. Everyone was anxious for the healthy baby boy to be born.

We got the call on a Sunday evening that the birth mother was in labor. We rushed to the hospital and waited. Minutes after the baby was born the doctor and birth grandmother came to talk to us and said they had bad news. The doctor was very blunt and said “the baby was deformed , his jaw is inverted and he is missing an ear.” We rushed to be by his side and walked with the nurses to the NICU. As we walked we stared at him. I was thinking he looks perfect other than he is missing an ear. It was 3 o’clock a.m. so we had to wait hours for the doctors to make their rounds in the morning. We sat with him, cried, prayed and just anxiously waited for answers.

When the doctor was doing his rounds and came in that morning he couldn’t have been more calm and reassuring to us that our son was just missing his ear and part of his jaw bone. We now know this is called microtia and hemifacial microsomia. When we talked to our social worker that morning she told us it wasn’t too late if we wanted to change our minds and that there are couples that said they would take special needs kids. That thought never crossed our minds the second he was born he was the baby we had prayed for all those years.

Our son, Cash is now four years old. It has been an emotional rollercoaster since the day he was born, between doctor appointments for different things , two procedures, one surgery and a couple surgeries that he still needs . We also him drive him back and forth 45 minutes each way everyday to preschool that he has attented since he was 18 months . His school is a great place he attends with other hearing impaired kids.

Cash will start kindergarten in the fall of 2017. We wouldn’t change one thing about our adoption story. Cash is the sweetest, brightest, most fun kid we could ever ask to raise. He is also a great big brother to his baby brother, Coen, who we also adopted through LFCS. We are so thankful thankful to LFCS  for helping us on our journey to becoming a family

Casey, Candi, Cash & Coen

The post Cash first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.