Abuse, neglect, infertility or depression doesn’t care about who you vote for. These challenges can affect anybody, anywhere. LFCS offers critical services like pregnancy testing and support, parenting education, counseling for children and families, adoption services, foster care, and child development programs. These services aren’t just important; they are essential in helping children grow up safe, supported, and empowered.

By choosing to support LFCS, you’re casting your vote for a brighter future where every child has the tools, love, and care they need to succeed. Your gift is a direct endorsement of hope and healing for families who rely on LFCS to overcome the hardships they face.

The post LFCS Rallies Around Kids During This Election Season first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.

Too often, we underemphasize the role of “Dad” when it comes to raising a family. Traditionally, Mothers are presumed to take on more responsibilities and have higher expectations than Fathers do, with regard to child-rearing. The role of the Father Figure has evolved over time, and today’s Fathers are stepping up in ways that other generations previously haven’t. While family dynamics are subjective for each couple, overall, Fathers are more present, more attentive, and more involved in the lives of their children than in previous years. With Father’s Day quickly approaching, LFCS wants to highlight the importance of Fathers and Father Figures to the health and stability of the modern family.

Unlike previous generations, many fathers today are equally involved in parenting of the children and upkeep of the household. This not only gives their children a healthy example of what a balanced relationship looks like, it also improves the connection between the husband and wife. In a study of married couples who just had their first child, there was an overall decrease in stress for both partners when the father took the time to contribute to the tasks of raising a newborn.* This equal involvement helps lighten the expectations of the mother while creating more bonding opportunities between the father and their baby.

During one’s early years, the Father serves as one of the  most important role models for their kids. A child’s brain is extremely observant and sensitive to early relational experiences; making a child’s relationship with their father critical during this time. These early interactions between a baby and their father develops a standard for what relationships should look like moving forward. Healthy Father-Child relationships tend to build higher levels of self-esteem and confidence in the child, which leads to more stable relationships in adulthood.** Unhealthy Father-Child relationships create more distress, trauma, and anxiety, which can lead to trouble forming healthy relationships throughout a child’s life.

With research showing the importance of both parents being present and involved early in a child’s life, Fathers are redefining their traditional expectations. Fathers are not only being more involved, they are opening up to being emotionally available. A 2018 study conducted by BYU & Ball State of over 2,100 fathers across the nation found that the majority of men engaged more with their children than their fathers did and they viewed “exhibiting warmth to their child” as a characteristic of their personality. “Today’s dads spend more time, provide more care and are more loving to their kids than ever before,” says study co-author Kevin Shafer. “Most dads see themselves as playing an equally important role in helping their children as mothers do.”

“As current social trends are pushing for men’s increased familial involvement, we see more fathers stepping up to engage more actively in their children’s lives in various ways.”
Lee Essig
BYU Study Co-Author

Whether it’s Dad, Step-Dad, Grandpa or another title, the role of the Father Figure is becoming more and more important. Men may shy away from this responsibility or feel like they are not able to be the Father they envision for their child. Remember: progress, not perfection! Change is about moving forward and today’s fathers should be applauded for their development. Thank you to all the Father and Father Figures out there! LFCS is proud of you and everything you do for your family.

The post An Ode To the Modern Dad first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.

The philosopher Aristotle once said, “Laughter is a bodily exercise, precious to health.” Charlie Chaplin believed that “To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain and play with it”. We all love a good laugh, but did you know that laughing offers several health benefits for us? The Mayo Clinic recently shared the impact laughing regularly has at combating stress:

Short Term Effects:

• Stimulates multiple organs
• Soothes tension
• Calms our stress response

Long Term Effects:

• Improves immune system
• Relieves pain
• Improves mood and personal satisfaction

The post Using Humor first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.

Keeping a consistent routine is important and key to success. Follow this homeschool daily schedule to establish a “school away from school” routine. Also, be sure to check out  helpful homeschooling resources like ABC Mouse (abcmouse.com) and Scholastic (classroommagazines.scholastic.com). Many of these companies are offering free services in this time of crisis.

The post Homeschooling first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.

Fortunately, Shawn is learning to face the challenges of his environment in new ways through LFCS Community Prevention Services. This program aims to support at-risk youth through evidence-based life skills education and interventions. Areas reviewed include day-to-day challenges, self-esteem, substance abuse, violence, and other risky behaviors. Although new to the program, Shawn is beginning to see the opportunities beyond the familiar. And, for the first time in his life, Shawn has a male role model in his program mentor.

This positive experience has set Shawn on a new path. He is ready to beat the odds – to overcome any challenges that may come his way today so that he may build a better tomorrow.

Did you know poverty, single-parent households, and trauma are factors that impact a child’s success?

• The poverty rate for single-mother households is 31%.
• Poverty reduces a child’s readiness for school because it leads to poor physical health and motor skills, diminishes a child’s ability to concentrate and remember information, and reduces attentiveness, curiosity, and motivation.
• 30% of children raised in poverty do not finish high school.
• People who do not earn a high school diploma by age 20 are seven times more likely to be persistently poor between the ages of 25 and 30. [1]
• When a child experiences a traumatic event, the effects can have a life-long effect. As the number of traumatic events experienced during childhood increases, the risk for the following in adulthood increases: depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, and suicide attempts.[2]

[1] ChildFund. 2015. https://www.childfund.org/Content/NewsDetail/2147489206/

[2] Mental Health Connection. Recognize Trauma. Statistics. http://www.recognizetrauma.org/statistics.php

The post Beating the odds first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.

Set a new routine before the school year starts – Summer is a time for relaxation that can involve vacations, staying up late and long gaps for unstructured time for children. Parents and children need time to transition from their summer routine to their school routine. Parents school start incorporating parts of their school routine at least two to three weeks before the first day of school. An example of this is moving bedtime up from 10pm to 8:30pm.

Be Prepared – Parents should make sure their children have all back to school necessities. This can include: basic school supplies (paper, pencils, and folders), school uniforms, backpacks, and electronics (calculators, computers). Parents can get a supply list from their children’s school to help with this process.

Participate in back to school activities – Most schools have back to school events, such as, back to school fairs and meet the teacher night. These events allow parents and their children to gather important information like, classroom assignments, schedules, and the school calendar. Parents and their children have the opportunity to meet school staff, and to receive information on how to access resources and services offered at the school. These back to school events can also provide comfort to parents and children as they explore their new learning environment.

Set goals for the upcoming year – It is important for parents to encourage their children to set goals for the upcoming school year. Goals can include: better grades, joining a team or club, or making more friends. Parents can assist their children in making a vision board with encouraging pictures and inspirational quotes to keep them focused and motivated to achieve their goals.

Make good physical and mental health a priority – Going back to school can make life very busy and overwhelming for parents and children. It is important to make healthy eating and regular physical exercise a part of the family routine. Parents should minimize their children access to sugary snacks and encourage physical activity often. Parents should also talk to their children each day and provide support for signs of stress and depression. Parents can look to a physician and/or mental health therapist for support.

The post Back to School first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.

Myth: It’s only abuse if it’s violent.

Fact: Physical abuse is just one type of child abuse. Neglect and emotional abuse can be just as damaging, and since they are more subtle, others are less likely to intervene.

Myth: Only bad people abuse their children.

Fact: While it’s easy to say that only “bad people” abuse their children, it’s not always so black and white. Not all abusers are intentionally harming their children. Many have been victims of abuse themselves, and don’t know any other way to parent. Others may be struggling with mental health issues or a substance abuse problem.

Myth: Child abuse doesn’t happen in “good” families.

Fact: Child abuse doesn’t only happen in poor families or bad neighborhoods. It crosses all racial, economic, and cultural lines. Sometimes, families who seem to have it all from the outside are hiding a different story behind closed doors.

Myth: Most child abusers are strangers.

Fact: While abuse by strangers does happen, most abusers are family members or others close to the family.

Myth: Abused children always grow up to be abusers.

Fact: It is true that abused children are more likely to repeat the cycle as adults, unconsciously repeating what they experienced as children. On the other hand, many adult survivors of child abuse have a strong motivation to protect their children against what they went through and become excellent parents.

The post Myths & Facts about Abuse first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.

During this month and throughout the year, Lutheran Family and Children’s Services (LFCS) is dedicated to supporting families and reducing the risk of child abuse and neglect. LFCS is also dedicated to ensuring that all our policies, whether they are at the local, state, or federal level, continue to support our children and promote strong families.

To learn more about federal policies that help support and protect children here in Missouri and across the country, visit the Child Abuse Prevention Month Website sponsored by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the Administration for Children & Families, the Children’s Bureau, and Child Welfare Information Gateway – they have designed an excellent timeline outlining significant moments in child abuse prevention in the United States

It is wonderful to look back and see the important role of advocates in helping shape our countries’ programs and priorities, and even more wonderful to know that we still have strong advocates here at LFCS to look out for kids in the decades to come.

The post Honoring National Child Abuse Prevention Month first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.

Research has shown the significant impact that domestic violence has on children who witness it. According to Children of Domestic Violence, children who witness domestic violence are six times more likely to commit suicide, 50 times for likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, and 74 times more likely to commit violent crimes against others. Although this kind of trauma can affect children in different ways, they may experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, nightmares, difficulty concentrating, physical health problems, and behavioral problems. Additionally, children may develop low self-esteem and unhealthy relationship patterns. According to the Child Welfare Information Gateway, males exposed to domestic violence as children are more likely to engage in domestic violence as adults, and females exposed are more likely to become victims.

If you are a child or teen experiencing domestic violence in the home, you need to tell someone. Remember that it is not your fault and you are not responsible for your parents’ actions. If you are an adult who is experiencing domestic violence, think about the profound impact that it is having on both your children and yourself and seek help. There are many wonderful resources available to you, including the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

The post How Domestic Violence Impacts Children first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.

Are you struggling with an aggressive child? Follow the tips below based on our current practices.

1. Empathize. Express that you know how upsetting it can be to not get your way (or to have someone say mean things to you, or to be challenged by a task, etc.) and that you feel that way too.  As an adult it is important to “level” with the child and let them know that the frustration they are feeling is normal, but putting your hands on someone else is not a way to solve it.
2. Control you own temper. Modeling appropriate behavior is the best way for children to learn appropriate behavior.  If you express your anger in appropriate ways children can learn from that.
3. Help your child identify triggers. If losing in a video game or spending time with a specific person consistently sets your child off, help them to notice that.  Oftentimes kids aren’t able to piece together X leads to Y, so as the adult it is your responsibility to help paint the larger picture.
4. Find ways to channel the aggressive energy. For some kids this may be participating in sports or other activities that require expending a lot of energy, for others it maybe art classes or yoga that help them to focus and relax.

Lutheran Family and Children’s Services of Missouri provides an anger management program for teens in the St. Louis region. The program is designed to enhance positive social behaviors and skills, as well as to address aggressive behaviors and impulsiveness of participating youth. Click here to learn more.

The post How to Stop Aggressive Behavior first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.